HOW TO FEEL LESS USELESS AT HOME if you live with your parents edition

I’ve been doing so much monolog dalaman lately, so I decided to write after a long time. For future references it’s raya ke-5 and my family already started Puasa 6 since second Eid coz it’s PKP so there’s nowhere we can go. While scrubbing the toilet just now, I talked to myself way too much so I narrow down to one topic which is HOW TO FEEL LESS USELESS AT HOME. This topic closely related to me in so many ways coz it’s a ‘been there done that’ thing. I’ve been working from home for past few months now and I’ve been reflecting myself through this epidemic. Let’s go straight to the topic.

I believe everyone have their own rezeki and my rezeki is having a job and still staying with my parents. There’s pros and cons but I can’t feel grateful enough. What you can do if you are an adult and still staying with your parents?

1.       Make yourself useful at home

Pick one or more chores in the house that you are the one who in charge of handling them everyday and become good at it at some point. I find scrubbing toilet is therapeutic. There’s daily, weekly and monthly chores so make sure you do at least one in each category.

2.       Be sensitive

Don’t stuck in your room all day and only out n about when you are hungry and please use electricity wisely (coz your parents pay the bills).

3.       Be there for your parents

You are so lucky to be around your parents, use this time to get to know them better by discovering what can you do for them everyday.

4.       Take care of yourself

It’s a way to make you feel less useless to yourself by exercising, learn new skills, having a well schedule daily routine or pick a new interest. Set achievable goals for yourself.

5.       Declutter

Currently there’s a viral case about sharing spaces with things in the house or not having your own personal space. Now is a perfect time to Marie Kondo-ing your space. Help your parents to declutter the whole house. Imagine we keep on buying stuff but didn’t let anything go so no wonder we have limited space in our house, don’t you think?

I shared 5 ideas only coz I don’t wanna sound too goody2. Btw it is excused if you have to work from home but outside office hour you still can be useful. You can online gaming or K-Drama all you want but it’s good to have a schedule. Having a daily schedule is actually good for your mental health. I’m sharing this with the intention of making you feel better while stuck in your house, actually I’m telling myself too. Have to work does help me obeying my own daily schedule tho.

*OMG my writing sounds juvenile

What I've learned from my parents

• ·         Parents bless is everything

From career choice to choosing a lifetime partner. I’ve been listening to my parents’ stories since I was a kid. In deciding what I want to be and questioning jodoh stuff, I wanted to know how my parents decide to become what they are today and how they choose each other to spend the rest of their life with. The common stories that I can conclude from their stories is parents blessing. The fact that their stories is kind a match-making tale which Alhamdulillah until now and InsyaALLAH it will be till the end of time, may somehow kinda give impact to me in deciding with whom I’m gonna end up with.

Mama wanted to be a flight attendant so she put 100% in knail-ing English, however her height crushed her dreams so her second choice is to do secretarial stuff. The fact that she may have to follow around her bos in future who may be a guy makes her dad (arwah tok) gave her red light. He encouraged her to become a teacher since he himself is a headmaster that time. She spent a year in Australia under exchange programme (AFS Malaysia) which was a fruitful investment in developing her language skills and character. That’s a back story of my mum becoming an English Teacher till today. She loves it so much until teachers need to do clerical computer work.

Babah has been an ace I would say but he don’t feel that way because he believed that his brothers seems to be way better than him academically. From Business Admin major to Juruanalisa Sistem Maklumat guy then a Lecturer. I grew up not understand what actually my dad is doing but he work in uni. I never know what exactly my dad wanted to be maybe he’s that kind of person who make the most out of everything and see how the things go. He has he’s own vision but he keep it to himself. What I know he believe in rezeki and parents duas. Still remember he told me, “Babah balik US terus pegi India untuk cari agama walaupon tak disetujui abang2, tp rezeki datang dari Allah, Babah balik Malaysia terus dapat kerja.” Everytime he shares his story about his journey in dakwah he’ll be extra enthusiast compare to what he already achieved for dunia.

• ·         Marriage over Wedding

I was told with prove of pictures, MamaBabah not even wearing matching outfit for their wedding. Mama borrowed her sister’s kebaya for engagement (maroon) and nikah (blue) and Babah just wore his baju raya (white baju melayu) for nikah. Arwah Wan quite pissed because there’s so many things that my mum refuse to have on her wedding and she was firm with her decision. The outcome is debt-less wedding. They didn’t live together for quite sometimes because Babah work in JB and Mama somewhere in Pahang. They dont even have time and budget for honeymoon and believe Along is pembawa rezeki in their marriage. Bit by bit they live a better life once Mama got transferred to JB. Recently they just returned from their first ever honeymoon after 29 years of marriage.

• ·       Saving

Mama told me that Babah open Tabung Haji account immediately after Mama deliver us. I was told that every cent of money that people gave us (since infant), went into the account. They never use our money to buy our baby necessities. Babah even allocate 10% of his salary for us and all of our duit raya will go to that account too. Back then, I was angry because they done allow me to use my Raya money to get stuff I want but now I feel thankful towards the action. Once we grow up, we were told that we already have thousands in our account. Thanks for that discipline which MamaBabah have been practicing, Along got to go to Japan when he was in high school, me and Ajin able to visit him for 2 weeks and joined exchange programme to Australia for me while Ajin Japan & Australia under the same program.

• ·       Islamic Education

All I can say is thank you to my parents because they spend so much money for our education. Many people’s impression towards us would be “tak nampak macam budak sekolah agama pon”. It is me to blame for not appear  muslimah - like. Our parents already put an effort to raise us with proper Islamic upbringing but now it’s up to us to decide how we want to appear. Imagine if they didn’t send us to Islamic school, we may becoming extra haywire than what we are today. Back then I kind a disagree and wonder why we don’t just attend the same school as Mama rather than attending this longer hours, far away from home school. I'm also happy with the fact that I know basic Arabic and Tajwid is not an alien for me. InsyaAllah can use the knowledge to teach my kids pulak.

Whatever I have wrote definitely not to brag but it’s up to u to judge. Just something that you can discuss with your partner before you become a parents. May the post somehow benefit us in some ways.

How Not To Be an Uncultured Swine

Common courtesy are closely related with common sense. It is not something that we can teach in a day but it is possible to be practiced or instilled from young age. Personally, I think common courtesy and common sense should be starting as a study or course in learning institution because the fact that most people are lacking of it, is terrifying. I’m gonna list out my version of common courtesy based on places.

·         Road

v  In Malaysia, right lane is for faster car to overtake the slower car who drives on the left lane. However, there are cars who stay on right lane eventhough he/she drive as fast as snail and turtle. Please do stay on left lane if you drive less than 140 km/h people ! You have no idea how many cursing words had been left on the road because of you. Do you really wanna wait until faster car kiss your car butt or giving you high beam then you change lane? If you want people to pray nice things to you, stop doing this. I can’t stay on the left side of the road coz I wanna make U-turn afterwards. Have you ever heard of signal?! Use your signal to notify the car which has been tailgating you. We are not mind readers!

v  There’s traffic light ahead. Do you know that you don’t have to leave one aeroplane size of gap from the car in front of you so that more car manage to go pass the green light. Stop being a selfish turd who only think about his/her own butt. Be considerate by move forward whenever the front car moves A.S.A.P

·         Toilet

v  Before you enter the bathroom stall (seated), you should have paper towel/ tissues, advisably more than one sheet. The reason behind this are because you need some to wipe the toilet seat before you sit and after you done your business. Of course, you need plenty to clean up yourself. Where goes the tissue afterwards you may asked? Not in the bowl toilet (unless it’s already super wet and not in a huge roll or else it will course clogging) in the trash can GENIUS. Don’t exit the stall just yet! Leave the toilet seat up. The reason behind this is so that excess water on the toilet bowl surface will drip down and the toilet bowl surface will dry faster.

v  Toilet paper / paper towel / tissue goes in the trashcan after used. ( I know you knew it already )

v  Some public toilets have water hose with quite high pressured water coming out from it, so my suggestion please open the water tap slowly so that he hose wont dancing around and make you and person who in the next stall wet ( coz there’s normally gaps on the lower sides of the stall.

v  Please do flush the toilet and try very hard to make sure other people will not see your outcome (if you know what I’m saying) double check if you must.

v  In hotel’s toilet where’s normally have a bathtub. Please do keep the floor dry as much as you can. There are more than enough towel to be used as a floor mat. Just so you know not all towel in the hotel room are meant to be used for your face and body. Keep the floor dry except the shower area ( normally they have door/ curtain to shield the water from splashing out the wet area)

·         Escalator

v  If you are young, healthy and don’t have a stroller with you, please use escalator.

v  If you are not in hurry please stay on the left side (the principal same as on the road)

·         Elevator

v  Make space for people who wants to come in for god sake!

v  Stop talking loudly, have you ever heard of whispering?

v  Be patient don’t push anyone inside or out

v  Say excuse me if you want to move and always say sorry if you blocked somebody's way even it's unintentionally

·         Phone

v  Any official matters must be during working hour

v  Official matters should not be through chat/message

v  When somebody is talking to you PUT YOUR EFF-ING PHONE DOWN

v  Respect people’s night time

v  Use earphone if there’s audio involved

Healthily ill

I am bless with a good armour of antibody, however as I grow older, I tend to get sick easily. I remember during pre-school to high school, I’m barely sick ( perhaps because eating raw carrots as a habit helps). Whenever I heard my friends absenteeism, I said to myself that I wish I can call in sick because the idea of being home while everyone was at school is intriguing. It’s a stupid thing to asked but I’m just a kid back then. There was a time I was hospitalised but it was because I ate durian excessively and ate the rotten one. Being hospitalised because of eating too much is not flattering but I think that fact makes me a little bit funny?    From that day I discover that sickness will never affect my appetite.

 Here is a list of all illness (didnt mention the common one) that I have been diagnose through my life. No worries, none of them is self-diagnosis.

 Sinusitis

                                          

• Once ago, when I was in early years of high school, I was diagnose with Resdung but the symptoms was vary. I manage to keep it low with help of homeopathy and meds. Ku sangkakan panas hingga ke petang namun hujan di tengahari. These days there are times I’ll encounter allergy that I still wonder what’s trigger it to occur. The major suspect is Ash’s fur. I still in deniable state coz my cat is innocent. He’s been with us for ages and I am fine back then. This thing happened recently. If its’ because of him, why now? That’s my defence. Still need to depends on nasal spray and Loratadine when the allergy occur. My nose will be runny like a waterfall and ill be sneezing a lot. I stop taking Ash to bed unless I was scared or cant sleep as a precaution (in denial yet still taking precaution )

·         Migraine

• When I was in SMK Agama Pahang for 4 months, migraine is killing me. The worst event was when I was waiting for my dad to pick me up for a holiday. My head was aching particularly at my right side of eyes. Tears keep on falling like a waterfall and my right eye was red. The pain last for hours and only sleep can stop it. Good news is I rarely have them nowadays and I only take painkiller when it happened. My work required me to stare on computer screen a lot somehow it contributes to mild migraine attack but it’s not as bad as before.

        Gastric

• I was diagnose for having gastric when I was in boarding school too together with migraine and sinusitis. You can say that boarding school is a real reason behind all the above sickness. LOL. I was told that I get this because I did not eat according to the schedule. I also normally let myself starved. Maybe because my body is still in adjusting phase in a new environment that time. The latest one I suffered for gastric pain is when I was stay in Bukit Jalil for a month. It’s like a reminder how much I’m not gonna let my stomach as empty as that anymore. That’s the reason I gain weight today TEEHEE. I love to eat but there are days I am too lazy to eat. Do you get me?

·         Hyperhidrosis

• Anyone who close to me knows I’m always with my hanky (handkerchief) because I have sweaty palms. Annoyingly sweaty palms. Nobody likes to hold my hands and I also try to avoid it except with Mama. My mom told me she also suffered this disease before she had a baby. So based on my understanding, this will be gone when I had a baby. It is messy especially during exam/ writing essays. My handwriting become hideous and barely readable. Hanky was helping but I keep on losing them. It is more annoying when your feet also sweaty too so you cant wear heels much or your feet will slide down the shoe frequently. That’s why I prefer covered shoes for heels/wedges. It safe in sense of not sliding but its gonna be humid in the shoe. Extra care need to be done to make sure I don’t have a smelly foot. I think I did wrote about this long time ago. I read somewhere this can be stopped by undergo some sort of minor surgery where they they cut our sweaty glands or something. Somehow the idea of not gonna sweat is horrorfying. Or it just reduce the sweatiness?🤔🤔

·         Eczema

• The climax of this disease when our family stay in UK for a year. I barely remember how I handle it but I do remember there was once Mama tied my hands with masking tape to make me stop scratching my body but it just make the scratching even better. I was six at that time and I have these red rashes on my neck hands and legs. I was told that UK weather helps to make sure I didn’t sweat much. Sweats makes the bacteria spread even more. I remember when my mum took me for a bath I closed my eyes coz I cant even look at my skin. It was red and bumpy. Alhamdulillah I no longer have eczema and left with barely seen scars. It does have side effect tho. I only can wear accessories that made of gold and silver. When I reached my 20’s my skin started to tolerate stainless steel. I cant even wear watch back then, I mean normal watch wear there’s gonna be a part of the watch that made of stainless steel in contact with your skin. Only specific design of watch I can wear and it’s not cheap. Even brooches under my chin make my skin itch reseulting redness when I scratch it. *not sharing the picture 

 I have no complaints about all this disease/illness that I have/had. It's a story or experience that I think I can share and surely there's many people out there may have/had experience same as mine.

Rockbottom

I think at some point of your life, there were a moment/phase that you feel down and useless. It can be caused by many reason that you can think of; relationships, career, loneliness or losing something/someone important. It’s totally normal to feel angry, upset, helpless or like a piece of sh*t. It’s healthy for you to let it out by sharing your feelings with someone you can trust. Be sad, be furious, cried it out, scream it loud. It is good for you to flushed them away. After you’ve done, take a deep breath and start counting/listing your blessings. What you have at that moment. All tiny little things you have; air to breath in, house for shelter, peace, parents, love, clothes, parts of body to move freely etc. It is cliché to say everything happened for a reason but it is. Live with the fact that you can’t change that it’s already happened but you do can decide how to react towards it. It’s easier said than done but it’s not impossible to do.

The most ‘I am a piece of crap’ phase was when I decided I don’t want to teach anymore. At that moment I know I broke my parents heart. They’ve been sacrificed a lot in terms of money, time and attention for me to get my degree. I felt like an ungrateful child. At the same time, I can’t force myself to be okay to do something that I don’t like. I felt like I waste my time for almost 6 years studying for something I hate. Hate is a strong word I know, I don’t hate teaching I hate the fact that I am no longer capable to do few aspects in teaching like classroom control, passion to teach, patience with kids. It’s all gone. I can’t find any motivation in me. It was something I no longer can compromise. Despite how much I am not fond of teaching, luckily I choose the subject I love which is English because I kinda know in future I might not want to teach and I can choose other stuff related to English for instead. Teaching English as Second Language is a fun course, I enjoyed every bit of my study days. Maybe my mum is a TESL graduate too, so I choose something that I was familiar with at that moment. 

My personal tips to make you feel better when you are in this phase is keep on giving. Not giving up but give help to people in need. Make it as a habit to help around the house, help your mom/dad/siblings/friends. Be a handy person. If you can’t contribute in sense of money, contribute in form of man power. When I was in jobless phase, I was lucky because I am not totally jobless. I am doing private tutoring for my one and only student, Farhan who at that time soon will be sitting for PT3 (still doing it even I am now have a job) Remember when I mentioned I don’t like to teach anymore? with Farhan it is a different story. He is a perfect student. The kind of boy who is hardworking and want to learn but the teachers at school are too strict which makes him scared to ask anything. I can say he is a dream student. I love doing private tutoring because it’s more like a sharing session with payment. Farhan’s mom is very generous and kind. So I teach English alternately with Math (I pass it to my brother to teach).  Once in two weeks we will held a class. I opened opportunity for my brother to gain new experience as a tutor while he waiting for his Bachelor Degree admission, at the same time he earned his own pocket money that time. I am so happy hearing about Farhan scores better in Math with my brother’s help which means they both comfortable with each other just like Farhan and me. Farhan had bad experience with his previous tutor because she is so strict just like his school’s teacher which doesn’t helped him much coz he too scared to ask any confusion.

 Even I don’t earn much, I do feel satiated with that small amount of money. With that amount, it didn’t stop me to keep on giving. I can’t give a lot but I’ll give what I have. Sedekah is a key of rezeki and I experienced it myself. I try to make it as a habit every Friday at least. We are insatiable, our nature is greed for more and never feel enough but sedekah/giving do helps in making us feel enough. That habit cleansed your mind and heart to make you feel humble and thankful with what you have. It makes me realise whatever I earn/ have at this moment, can be taken away from me at any time. It’s only a loan. It’s temporary. Please be clear that I don’t have any intention writing about this to brag or convinced people how good I am. I just want people to have a faith in life that life is a roller coaster. You won’t be at a bottom all the time but when you are at the top of the sky, don’t forget you can be at rock bottom at any unexpected time.

ps:while writting this, Hailee & DNCE - Rockbottom playing in my head

Day 76

It’s been 76 days since I left my teaching career. I learned a lot from my teaching days, about people, kids, teachers, syllabus and mostly about myself. It is hard to change your career path when you’ve been study about it for more or less 5/6 years? Back then I was persistent in chasing career as Sub Editor. I applied more than twice for same post at SDI Studios but only twice they responded with task that I have to submit in two days. I still remember there were 2 tasks I need to complete which were watching video and listen carefully what the actors /actress utterance words and another one is simply translating English dialogue to Malay. They already prepared a set of tabulated form of dialogue separated by transition and pauses. Its not the entire movie/drama only small part of 15 to 20 minutes cut. I remember the videos are cut from teenage drama called Degrassi, British drama with a thick British accent and one American show where they compiled videos of disastrous event with silly commentators’ sort of like Ridiculousness from MTV. I’ve watched bad Bahasa Melayu subtitles for that kind of shows, it’s funny when the word ‘cool’ being translated as ‘sempoi’. Anyway, I only made it at second stage which another video to be translated/subtitled, never made to interviews. So, at that moment I realised maybe I enjoy doing that but it’s not my fate to be a Sub Editor.

To be certain that I am no longer want to do teaching, I accept the offer from Startots which located at Bukit Jalil. Anis recommended me to her Bos, I feel bad until today because I didn’t perform as I promised and Anis recommended me  in the first place so I feel like disappointing her too. Frankly, I think the salary does not meet the work load but I understand there a lot of cut you gotta do in a small private company but Startots will grow bigger. It just my level of competency does not up to Startots’ par. So I was there for a month. It was a miserable one month for me because I was half- hearted doing it and the housing area where I rent is really out of my comfort zone. Yeah adulthood is about adapting but I really had a hard time fitting in. Aneem visited me with coffee coz she knew how unhappy I am at that time and she helped me move and stuff. Nane fetched me almost every weekend and Abi drop by to see if I was fine. Cu and Ecu also being kind taking me to Putrajaya for weekend. However, I felt miserable through weekdays. At that point, I admire how Anis survived. I felt weak and unhappy. I space out a lot, my attitude changed and I cried anytime I was alone. This phase of my life makes me never stop feeling grateful with what I have and what I am today.

I don’t hate teaching but I know I’m lacking in classroom management and stuff. As I getting older, I tolerate less with BS stuff and things that does not amuse me. So there was a post looking for Pegawai Penerbit at my dad’s university. Not my dad’s like he owned it but he teaches there as one of the senior lecturer/pioneer there. My dad encouraged me to apply. I know I don’t think it’s a good idea to work at the same place with my dad. Frankly I am scared that I screw things up and effect peoples’ impression towards me or my dad plus I am scared of my dad. . He’s not too strict or anything it’s just me. I got my last opportunity to teach in SK Bukit Setongkol while I was in the middle of attending interview and test for UMP. The school still want me to teach eventhough they know I might not be able to finished 3 months there in case I made it to UMP.

I was assigned to teach year 1 and 2 Bahasa Melayu and Pendidikan Seni, Seni have been my dream subject to teach. How I wish my minor is Seni. I retired for my teaching career happily because I have done everything I ever wanted as a teacher. The school is small and quite new. All teacher was very nice and I like the bilik guru with air-conditioner and cubicle like arrangement for teachers. I think it’s the best school I ever served after SK Sungai Isap coz Mama is there. Hee~  Just like Startots, I served only 1 month there coz luckily I got my dream job. I always wanted to be in publishing field. I did not aspect that I made it coz all the candidates were UIAM, UKM, UPM alumni. I was the only person who is from private university. Alhamdulillah I got the post.

Currently I am the Pegawai Penerbit in this department. My job scope including proofreading, translating, Editor etc. I love the environment so far because my subordinates are kind and helpful people and mothers. I like to thanked my dad for telling me about the post and I like to clear up about me getting this job has nothing to do with my dad is one of the senior lecturer in this uni. The board members of human resources and TNC team have no idea that I am my dad’s daughter until they decided to choose me for the post. At that point of event, the last stage of interviews, I actually feel tired and almost no longer feeling nervous so I just be myself. The witty, playful version of myself with the panel. One of the tips that I can share is, in interview for shortlisted candidates, as how much as you want to be professional in front of the panel, don’t forget to be yourself. Your unique-self will win peoples’ heart. This can be applied to interviews that have many stages. I’ve been to an interview with this one private beauty company and they only call me back because I have the look to represent their company and I feel offended more than flattered. They also add I might need to lose kilos so I will become more ideal for the post because it have something to do with marketing. I understand the needs of the post but I know I worth more than that.

ps: Dear GRAMMAR NAZI, my English is not perfect even I am an Editor.

Everyone is a judge outside the court

Hey highheels among sneakers blog. When I really put a thought into it, what the hell am I thinking when I decided to choose that name for my blog? Haa Ha I know right. Maybe because I am the only girl in the family so it's kind a related..Idk. Blogger suggest me to make entry in Malay but does Blogger know the reason why I'm blogging? NO! It is because I am enhancing my writing skills with a quite low or below average grammar competency I suppose. I know the only loyal reader to this blog is my parents, so that they can correct my grammar later on which is quite refreshing 😀

JUDGING MY BLOG

• Highheels or high heels? Is it correct to put 's' at the end of it?
• The owner of this blog must be girly girl and clearly loves pink so much. How old is she? 9?
• Pattern on the background shows she's trying too hard to appear maturity in a girly way I reckon?
• Future lecturer/teacher to be huh? How come she really certain about not hating the career path for next... 4 years?
• This fancy font kind a hard to read
• She got a youtube channel too? I bet it's lame *it is
• Wow there's a quote at the end of the page. Where did she steal it? Is that her picture? I bet she took a lot of time editing it.*obviously

Currently I have no idea how to do stuff here except posting a new entry. 😶😶


JUDGING SOCIAL MEDIA

1. Facebook

- ads.....ads....ads.......ads.......
-shopping medium
-live make up tutorial
-' This is a perfect medium to express my anger'. WRONG!
- somebody is getting married/having a baby/available/having his/her birthday
- viral videos
-create awareness
- 'I must post my current situation, all of my friends is dying to know my condition right now'. NOPE
- sihir/santau guna nama penuh (straight away changing my facebook name)
-updated information/news
-puns
-tips/tricks/hacks
- facebook live ( forcing scroller to watch my current activities )

      2. Twitter

-parents free site to curse. Yeay!
-retweet/quote
-sarcasm *kalau terasa nasib la
-#HASHTAG   #HASHTAG     #HASHTAG
-Gif
-freedom of ranting
-medium for unspeakable stuff
- update current emotional/interest of your friends

     3. Instagram

- another shopping medium
- OutfitOfTheDay / MakeupOfTheDay/FOODSTAGRAM etc
-income medium for thousand followers account
-your worth is scale by followers and likes
-updated your activities
-tutorials
-birthday shoutout/wishes
- my life is awesome according to my photos
-instagram live ( not forcing anybody to watch what am I doing but if you want to...)


Agree or disagree this is just an opinion and listing this does not make me not doing any of it.
There's so many social media sites out there but this is top 3 sites/apps that most of us have. Whatever you post or do using these medium is totally up to you because it is your rights. Somebody could just hide your post  or unfollow your account if they don't like it. Note to yourself, whatever people post on these sites is what they choose to show to the others . But I think Facebook live can get pretty annoying when it comes to the point where people keep on sharing it so it suddenly came out on your feeds. I think there's a way to stop that but I'm not sure how. By posting anything through social media you are actually welcoming people to judge you/your life so you should be aware of the risk that people might be taking it wrongly or differently than what you have expected. Just like what I'm doing here posting this and share it through my social media accounts. Happy judging

Boringnye takde gambar.