Just cut my hair~

I decided to have a new look for new year but still not sure how should i cut it. Salon??? nope..This time i will cut it by myself..Normally I ask my dad to cut for me..So..i've thinking to keep the length and give some fringe in front of my forehead.. but i already did that style twice..when I was little n when i'm in form3..
since i got wavy hair that style wont do..but who cares??
its like i have Vanessa hair and want to do Selena's look..I t doesn't make sense ryte??

Guess what I already did..make myself look like 5 years old me..My parents agree with me..I look exactly when i was 5..but this time I am taller n darker..unfortunately there was an accident..not obviously seen..with wavy hair like this the result will not be as I wish.That's fine coz the one to blame is me.

By the way, it doesn't matter coz I am wearing head cover in public but does matter for self satisfaction tho...my mum said this kind of look will face problem when i want to ware head cover..u know fringe in front of forehead.let be~

It's been a while~

I have a blog but I rarely post anything..So basicly I will post according to my mood.. I am so happy coz juz now I got news from my brother in Mackay. He said he dont met my host mum yet.I dunno how to express how much I miss him. Its embarrassing to admit that I sleep with his AFS sweater on his bed and wears his shirt while I'm still at home.

He let me to bring that sweater to uni, I love all of my brothers. Everytime they left me I will cry but if I am the one who leave, I wont drop a single tears which means 'I can leave u but u can't leave me. No wonder I have no guts to give a shot in a relationship. I am not tough enough to be disappointed.Thanks to u along coz lend your hug to keep me calm while i'm crying at the airport. Thanks coz u dont feel embarrassed
to walk with me that time.

This coming 24 Jan will have 2 important things for me. Along's 21st birthday n Ajin's arrival. YEAY!!!! Too bad i wont be around that time.

Raimi thank you for not crying. If you did, thankx for not crying in front of me , coz it will make me cry too which is not good. I had major headache after crying.

cAr~

Ade ura2 mengatakan En Ruzaini nak bg toy baru kat cik Athirah...hee
Tp ura2 je la kan...sb En Ruzaini dpt vroom2 bru n nak give a way City nyer...
Cik Athirah x la mengharap sgt (tipu2)...toy ape2 pon boley (myvi pink ok gak)~demand giler
x kisah kete pape tp klu ley nak kaler pink...hihi
viva pink ok jgak..tp En Ruzaini kate..kancil jew..x kisah la kete pape pon... asalkan kete... sem 2 nanti xyah naik bas dah..(menggunung tiggi harapan)

Athirah= keep on smiling although she is suffering

Yup...I am trying soo hard to keep on pretending nothing is wrong with me..but actually....i am fooling myself...i dont want to sacrifice anymore..I wanna know how does it feel if someone love u...only u...I want to know how does it feel to be no 1 in someone's..how to stop hurting yourself Athirah..stop doing that..u have been doing that ever since...u deserve to be happy instead of sacrificing yourself..stop feeling sorry...

I have to realize that..sacrifice is not always another term of love...How to avoid from loving someone who is belong to someone else....Athirah..u are not like that.. u know what is right and wrong..u always be reasonable..please dont repeat the same mistake that u have did...open ur eyes...dont let urself getting hurt again,,u deserve to be happy...

Feeling down -..-

Dunno why lately I felt emotionally unstable.. I should not feel that way coz I got the best people in the world around me..Although somehow I feel they kind a make a distance from me...I hope i do nothing wrong.. Yeah a few people that used to be closed to me started to make a huge size of great wall of China in our relationship. I dont mind as long as u happy.
My performance is going down too..Recently we got quiz for English Proficiency .. I can imagine how Ms Alia will react, 'T-rex I am so gonna kill u!!'.For my classmates I am not as bright as u guys thought.U guys can categorize me as one of the 'lumpy' person u've ever known.
I dont't mind if u gonna kill me but I have to do better for my own future not for you. It just grammar Athirah..
Cant wait to be home and be pampered by Babah n Mama after a long time living in an independent daily life here.
I have to get use to life where no one give attention to u..I have to start being a grown ups..yup for sure..
I am so confused whether should I join Kesenian club or not..I want to but I cant.. that's the simplest reason..Dont feel like writing actually.

0_0 me being tough

I'm not getting lucky all the time.I had my bad day yesterday but I am grateful coz I know that ALLAH love me that's why i faced so many difficulties in a day.Start from the morning, there was a PTPTN N BIMB thing to settle.I just realise that i just have a copy of my mum slip gaji, so what i did was leave the long queue n rush to the library to photostat it.When I return back to DABS my fren Ika told me that the form just need a only a copy of a backup document, such a waste.Its ok~ think positive Athirah that is ur exercise for today.
The session with PTPTN a lil bit disorganised coz people cut queue.Those people have no integrity at all, such a selfish.During my turn....disaster happen..my form have a liquid paper mark so..it was REJECTED..the machine can't scan form with liquis paper marks...I almost cry but big girls dont cry ryte?? I rush to the library to print out those forms again which cost me RM4.40.... It's all my fault:(
Back in DABS...I call my dad n ask him is ryte for me to go straight away to the counter or should I queue again and he said this time I should be selfish coz I have a bus to catch..being selfish is soo not me i feel anxious bout what people would say bout my act...I sit near to Ika n Mia n told them bout my story, both of them ask me to go to the counter straight away but I still dont feel good bout doing it,So what I did was talk to the person who was suppose to be next (dealing with ptptn staff) asking for permission to go before her...But she said she also in a rush coz she have a class..negotiation does'nt work...so do it hard way..forget bout what they said..i went straight away to that akak n she still remember me n ask me to sit with a smiling face..I love u la kakak..U are the best although u asked me to print back the forms before..
PTPTN SETTLED~:D
My second scene was..I missed my bus..and it was not my mistakes..the bus wrote nothing bout the destination..i bought ticket for trans so there’s no reason i ride city liner..arrghh..I have no idea y Trgganu Terminal have such a disorganized system..RM18.90 gone just like that... so i bought another ticket at 5.30pm which turn out to be 6.30p.m.Guess what my seat no.??? 38 but the seat in the bus is just 32...(doent make any sense)I have right to complain but I am too tired to bother. So I were stand for a while..thanked god there was a gentleman that gave me a seat..Although he was trying to flirt..At the end we had a chat and he made to get my no...silly me

Gonna leave this house soon

So...only 2 more sleep left..then off me go...I hope I will fit in well.. ari ni dapat good news..Tabung Haji call n inform that our family ley g haji ujung thun ni..Alhamdulillah...so my preparation...i will be a better person n bykkan usaha dekatkan diri dgn Allah n bertaubat..Heaps of sin i already made before..should ask 4 forgiveness...I dunno what i feel now..sleepy for sure..

BTW..Kak dayah dah balik dr Jordan..huhu...hepi2..xtau nak tulis pe dah...sedey la nak tggalkan umah...nak bwk ke x Marie kepala besar tu ek??Hmmm

~BOWLING~

As every member in my family know..I AM A BAD BOWLING PLAYER~ (well that's not hard to admit)..even my youngest brother is better than me..LOL and he just 11 years old... Well after a long time yesterday night my eldest brother accidently payed for six person..That's mean I have to play..OMG!!!I t such a waste of money and time.. Me playing??NO WAY~....If one day I have a boyfriend I'm not gonna let him drag me to the bowling alley..

So..as usual my 1st throw sucks...but miracle happen sometimes..to me... i got all pin fell in my 2nd throw..HAHA...I am so surprised..Me???doing that???That must be someone else..or it just a coincident..The most weird thing was, everytime during my turn the 1st throw will be in the drain but the 2nd one it will strike more than half of the pin but far from strike...1st throw for every round was cursed..That's all I can say..

Mama just discover that her lucky ball is not that lucky coz it so light which that is the reason y she bought it..So she try her shot using other ball..ball number 9 blue (colour is important LOL)...She score higher point with that heavier ball..but it makes her wrist hurts..So that's me throwing in the alley again..Practice makes perfect ryte~

uni here I come~

At last I got accepted by local uni which called Universiti Darul Iman Malaysia in Kuala Terengganu...At 1st i'm not really happy bout it coz I wish I got to futher my study somewhere near KL..but my dad is really clever..He took me to look around the campus so that I will thrilled to study there..It is a nice place..2 days ago from Kedah my dad drove to Kelantan then Terengganu..The place is ok..near the beach ...not in isolated area..I love it.thanks daddy for the sight seeing...

Then..we had sotong celup tepung in the famous place there..my dad already taste it before when he gone for a volleyball uni battle few years ago..our family was a final person leave the place..they actually closed at 7.30 p.m but that day they closed quite late because of us..hihi..nice treat Babah..

My dad is a IRON MAN..He drove straight away from Kedah passed through Kelantan n Terengganu and reach our home in Kuantan..We arrived at 1 in the morning..I'm not really sure coz I am so sleepy that time..Awesome daddy~Thanks for everything

What I learn from playboy~

Playboy is a term for a boy that need more than a girl to be his girlfriend.NO..nO.actually not as a girlfriend..He has a girlfriend and a few other girls to fool around with..Dont get me wrong ok..The purpose of this blog is not to look down to all the playboy and humiliate them..I just want to share a few lesson that I got from a player..Normally playboy hates when people call them player although they really are..I wrote this coz it is part of my experience..I really look up to that guy..seriously..he is really powerful..forget bout this guy..we back to the topics.

Lesson no.1=We must have a strong faith to ourself....Meaning..dont easily trust and listen to the sweet talk.All of them are crap from the mouth of the player.

Lesson no.2=.If you are single and under 30..dont feel bad about it..u are so lucky to be single coz there is a lot more to explore than have to follow every single thing your boyfriend ask you to do.you are free!!!

Lesson no.3=A player is really good in making people feel sorry for him..actually they just playing prethetic all the time which what he really are.

Lesson no. 4=Looks,sweet atitude and soft spoken are the characterristic that they have..From a 1st sight even ur parents will fall for him..but dont be fool by that coz that is all the player got..they got no other thing..poor thing..

Lesson no.5=I have no regret write all this thing coz most probably he could not understand what I wrote about..lol

All the list above is more to anger that I have to let go... I have to..I need to..Coz in real life I treat this guy in a best way I could coz I have to prove that what he did to me is nothing..it did'nt meant anything to me...although it soo damn hurt...still tore me apart everytime I think about it..You win Mr. Playboy..You happy now??
..If people ask me about that guy I will never talk bad things bout him..coz it will just make me look more stupid than I am.Beware girls there is a lot more guys like this species..Choose guy with a good religion background...I hope no one will read this..Ewww my life is so precious rather than spending my time think about that good looking creature...

Let me be on my own~

Uni...College...IPTA ....IPTS...tak kisah la which one that I will enter to...although I dont have any confirmation yet whether layak ke tak....but the main point is..i really hope I will start this whole journey somewhere new...i mean new place..new environment and new people..if I can choose with whom I want to get a long with..I choose strangers....coz for me I dont want anyone from my high school life to be with me...dont get it wrong...it just...

How to say this...I need to explore the outside world by meeting new people..mix around with many different people....I love my bff..but I am so happy if three of us continue our journey by breaking our comfort zone...I think people will agree with my statement..if we get along with the same people for ages..I talk about friend not lovers or family...we might know more about his/her dark side and might get sick of it.not 'might'..... really sick of it...this might sound a little bit selfish but this is what I feel..I know I dont have the best attitude but I can adapt with something new.

Sometimes meeting all sorts of people..facing different kind of attitudes to be exact..will make us think and analyze about behaviour..plus make us grown up and more mature in making decisions...moreover, I am enthusiast to be a teacher which gonna make me play with teenagers psychology....so I like to be in a new environment + people (1st minded people if there any)..mostly Malaysian people is 3rd minded people..including me...maybe...but I am learning to be 1st minded person..so fellow friend dont get me wrong..I love u guys but... let me be on my own...please continue whatever u doing now...u guys should break ur comfort zone...I know most of my friend feel very happy if they got to continue their study with sum1 they know or close to from high school...but I'm not one of that kind of person...

Mother's Day~

Penat x ilang lg padahal dah tido 2 malam , maybe coz x biase travel dalam bus lame2. MOTHER'S DAY kali ni rase special sangat coz dapat spend time ngan mama , juz two of us..Actually kebetulan je rombongan sekolah mama jatuh pada tarikh yg same. Btw excited la kan dapat jejalan ngan mama je mcm girl nyte out plak.Semua anak2 laki ngan babah tinggal, diorg x kisah pon siap plan nak order piza lg.
Pukul 11 bergerak.Dalam bus sejuk sgt2..Kite x duduk sebelah mama coz nanti mama kan nak tdo lgpon banyak lagi kerusi kosong, jadi kite duk la btol2 behind seat mama n duk sebelah Zia ex- student mama who is same age with me.Die pon x dapat tawaran g mane2 lagi.Die baru berhenti keje kat taska Raimi dulu.Sampai Kelantan dalam area kul 5.45 nak subuh la.Kitorang sewa bilik hotel yang terletak btol2 tengah2 bandar.5 orang satu bilik.

Pagi tu breakfast Nasi Kerabu.Nikmatnyer makan nasi after almost 2 years. Saje je break the rules sebab bukan everyday dapat makan Nasi Kerabu Kelantan kan..Sah2 kene puasa beria balik umah nanti.Tapi Nasi Kerabu diorang kaler putih la. Sakit tekak baru je nak baik hentam plak Apple juice , sakit balik tekak. Sehari suntuk shopping. Rase penat sangat coz cuaca panas n kering.Teman mama shopping memang x ingat dunia.Mama nak sangat tea set Vantage, sanggup jalan jauh tau.Kite layan je mama nak ape n x kisah pon angkat barang sampai nak putus jari..Seriously mmg macam nak putus jari ni.Yang x leh bla nye, time nak naik bas ade kawan mama snap gambar kitorang coz kitorang bwak barang byk sgt mcm semua benda habis kitorang beli..buat malu je tau..tp x kisah la kan

Lunch kat tempat makan yang agak ..famous la kat situ..makan budu n sambal belacan, sampai menangis tau makan..ye la makan nasi kurang, hentam sambal belacan , budu n ulam.. Athirah x pnah ingat name tempat sebab tu la x mention ape2 name..haha..Dah siap makan tu bukannyer reti nak rehat jap kat bilik..sambung jalan kat pasar siti khadijah lak.Bahang sangat kat situ.Mama n Untie Azwa still semangat nak cari kain pasang .Kite n Zia ni layan je la ibu kami ni..Tapi bile dah sampai limit, masing2 ingat kan ibu masing2 huhu..

Dah balik bilik siap mandi n jamak solat ape yang ptot, ade orang hantar Nasi kukus lak kat bilik kitorang.X la lapar sangat ,so share je nasi tu ngan mama.Disebabkan jari luka coz makan ketam semalam terpaksa la mama suap..Agak teruk jgak la..ye la makan ketam x ingat dunia.Malam tu singgah Wakaf Che Yeh..wah tira ingat nama tempat..bukan senang..lol Diberi masa dari kul 8 malam sampai 12..Tp mama x larat nak jalan , kul 10 dah naik bas . Perjalanan balik sunyi je coz semua org penat, tp kite x le tdo jd dengar org berdengkur je. Sampai rumah klu 11 lebih.

Pink is the colour of my blood~IDTS

fOR ALL the blogger..sorry coz kowg trpaksa melihat pink colour yg agak over rated..plus Marie Aristocats yg kurg famous but no 1 in my heart..Menggilai +addicted ngan pink n marie ni is not a new facts 4 sum1 who already know me..but for sure bukan sebarang pink k..not trashy pink stuff...coz nanti nampak childish sgt..as a matter of facts collecting these pink n marie stuff fill up my emptiness n loneliness..it makes me be a positive person..I cannot live with the facts that I have to leave some of those stuff if I've got accepted to any uni....I hope enthusiast bout those thing not gonna make me a self centered person..

Gadget!!!Gadget!!!

Dah lame x tulis blog...coz I still confius between blog n diary...sometimes I mix personal things in my blog,I like to share but dont misunderstand plak.Mcm la ade org nak bace kan blog ni..Xpe la let me express my feelings through writing.Lgpun time skrg ni je la ade mase nak jog down pape..Nanti dah msuk uni x terkejar nak tulis2 ni...
BTW recently ade PIKOM PC Fair kat Mega which I went there 3 days in a row(gadget obsession)..aPE LG I went there with my dad..usha lappy..then dpt la lappy Dell kaler pink ni..I called it COTTON CANDY..(ingat anak kucing ke nak bg2 nama,tp suke aty I la kan),Syukur Alhamdulillah Allah pinjamkan rezeki-Nya yg melimpah ruah.Although I got what I want,it doesnt mean that I am spoit child..Coz my dad still consider whether I deserve it or not..Lgpon nanti nak continue study lappy is compulsory..crucial kot..nak wat assignment camne xde lappy kan..
I got something new but have to giveaway something else.Actually its not mine.Along ask back for his mp3..I dont mine i already prepare myself to loose it..He gave it to me coz his phone alredy got mp3 but now his phone is already broken he need it back..Xde istilah buruk siku eh..For me mp3 is my boyfriend coz it always be with me and never make me feel lonely..Actually it is Ajin's but he already got Sony Zap for free with his camera.But,Hey~My dad said I can buy a new one..Yippie!!!So what am I doing now is doing research what brand should I buy..Thinking of Ipod..but it need itune sofware which make my life harder..I need drag n drop mp3 format just like Ajin's.I might end up buying exactly like his but pink in colour..Maybe coz his mp3 is not bad..Lgpon My dad prefer Sony than other brand..He know better..Anything u said Daddy..
Along will get a new manual car..Manual duhhh..Guys memang prefer manual..But i KIND A FALL IN LOVE ngan manual car la..sejak blaja drive ni..A few days ago bru je ambik ujian kelayakan,marks atas pagar je.Passing mark 17 ,I got 16..LOL....Hrap2 I will drive better la this weekend klu x kne marah ngan Ustaz lg..Remember Athirah Give singnal but dont make sudden move wait until U see the white line...(only me understand what I'm talking about).

I appreciate it u guys~

Seronoknye..what a day....thanks u guys coz organize a little celebration 4 my birthday..walaupon not exactly during my birthday I really I really appreciate it..Ada,Eman,Ejat,Nanan,Norm,Fadzil..n Muhaithir yg try nak dtg tp xde rezeki nak dtg..its ok..Started from 8 O'CLOCK in the morning we all bergerak ke TC..BUt Ejat was early n very punctual..I am the 1 to blame coz I told him 7.30..but guess what??I'm being a jerk to him..(hate myself)..I just know know that Ada collect RM5 tO BUy some snacks to the beach..n she did'nt ask me to pay any penny (i mean cent).. Gosh u guys are soo sweet...

BTW Ejat I am so damn sorry coz I am being harsh eventhough u r being super nice to me along the day..I can't stop blaming myself..please forgive me..U wait for me since 7.30 in the morning at the beach COZ U KNOW i hate person who concern bout time management but I am the one who being late...sori jat..I am being selfish..
tiring day yet very meaningful to me..x dpt present pon xpe..

I am blind

Normally I am very rasional about how should I act and felt but when it come to love matters..I am the dumb ass that u ever think of...Oh gosh!!Athirah open your eyes..He is not for u..Move on..He already know what u feel and yet still no action.. That's mean..The feeling is NOT mutual..GOt it??!!Takkan nak simbah asid baru nak sedar kot...Wake up!!!Chase other thing other than him... Open your eyes k..He is damn gorgeous guy and u r damn not that pretty girl....

You should just accept the fact that he is not for u.Why???Why I'm still hoping for him..Now I am really blind...If he accept u, u still not gonna be happy coz he just not ready for such commitment..Just friends k...But it's hurt to see him again in front of me when he with someone else...I am nothing for him..Just another girl passing by...Mama is right love someone that love u not someone u love..Why is it too complicated..Why is it I am so sentimental..

Is it too hard to live ur life without couple Athirah??Come on la.. Dont make urself too carried away with this stupid thing..Cinta bertepuk sebelah tangan..that's what happen to me now..I am realise what actually happen to me but when I see his face again, I will..I might return back to him..Guess what?? I am one of the silly girl that will do anything for a guy I really love..which is so dangerous...make urself busy Athirah..

My SPM result~~~

I got 4 A'S 1 B AND 4 C'S...I dont study really hard and my result is almost the same with those who study really hard..Alhamdulillah...At last i can prove to others that I can do it too...and I can survive on my own no matter with whom I get along with...My parents was very happy coz I get the best result among the worst..What I really mean is in my school , students who got 5 A's and above was called to get up on the stage..I'm glad that I got juz 4 A's coz I hate to be on the stage..(what a silly reason)..

My mum said this is the best birthday present she ever got..coz I beat people who looked down on me...But i feel a lil bit sad coz I got A- for my English..I should got A+ to futher my study in English..so I'm quite worry bout that...The second thing is.. I'm gonna missed my family holiday if I got accepted 4 English Foundation.. Specialty of this Family vacation is..my dad will drive across the state..we gonna go to 3 different state if I not mistaken...I dont want to missed that...Juz hoping 4 the best

To much crying in a time

Last night I found something that really touch my feelings..Just because of that thing I cry badly..Actually not just because of that thing...You guys have no idea how does it felt read ur parents postcard during they still a couple. It cannot be describe..You suddenly realize that ur parents is so in love with each other..For sure my parents would not care to read my blog so I brave enough to write this blog.My mum is a fan of Garfield so my dad send her Garfield postcard which was very romantic. I cry for each words I read..I felt like I am a part of the story..My parents have no idea bout all this.They will kill me if they know..(exaggerating)

I did not stop crying yet because I found another thing and this time its belong to me.My birthday card.Not just a card, it is my 5th year old birthday card from Grandpa & Grandma from Australia. My mum's host parents. Although I just turn five that time, I still remember them very well.They came to Malaysia to see us when I was little.Grandma gave me a bunny which she made it herself as a gift but I already lost it now.

Honestly, I cried everytime I see their picture. Although I dont live with them for a year like my mum but there are strong bond created between us.I dont know whether you still alive or not Grandma & Grandpa but I really want both of u know that I miss and still love u guys.

Now I have my own host mum and I really hope I would not lost contact with her.I dont want to loose her like I lost Grandma & Grandpa.Then I just realize that cards and letters last longer than email or messages.

My first contact lenses

Today I bought my first contact which totally cost RM80. I definitely not gonna tell my parents bout it coz they might will cut my monthly allowance.I mean they will know somehow but not now. Wait untill I further my study and got a scholarship or something. Sorry Mama & Babah I'm not act like I am a rich kids who like to waste money on silly thing, I just want to experience how does it look like and felt if we wear contact. It's not a big deal. Btw I will wear it for three month..Isnt it worth it???He he~

Anyway it is the hardest thing ever to put on the contact at least for a first time. Before I made this 'wise' decision, I ask Kak Sarah about this all contact thing. She is my big brother's friend.She is a nice person. As everyone who know me know that I get along easier with a girl who a little bit elder than me coz I dream to have a big sister which not gonna happen. It doesnt mean that I dont love my brother, I love him. Anyway that;s another story.So I ask for her advice and price to be exact.Actually the contact cost RM70 the extra 2o bucks is for the container and a bottle of sterilizer for contact.I bought the one that make ur eyes look bigger (black colour to be exact). So that Babah will not notice it. Afterward I will buy the other colour one.Oh Marie I wish my eyes as big as yours which not gonna happen.huh

I just hope that my eye will not suffer any affection after this. Wow that is one of my wish to do list for 2010. Wearing contact eventhough I have zero problem with my eyesight. Just something that will make me feel a little mature and grown ups..Ha ha.. What a silly reason~

FLY again~

I am so excited to go abroad again. Although it just Indonesia but I never been there and very excited to explore something new there. Thanks to Pak Long because he is the one that offer us to join the trip.yeah my whole family except Along coz he got test or something more important. So it is kind a sad coz I'm gonna have fun without. Not totally fun actually without having him around but life must be go on. i don't know what to expect for this another whole trip. It will be totally different for sure that last time b'coz I am going with my parents which means I can ask money from them for shopping (evil laugh). I'm not that bad I am considerate I will not ask too much just a heels maybe, wedges, a few dresses. Nothing much. Isn't that a good news for u mama. He he.

Btw, my grandparents are coming too so my mum advice me to wear something that more appropriate (I never wear nothing if u know what I mean) LOL. Meaning something polite and except able in terms of my mum sight. My mum has her own guideline about how should I dressed which is usually I can negotiate about it because it is for my own good. Having such a curvy figure make me have some kind of difficulty to get dressed. The problem is I love fashion. Fashion is my middle name. Dont worry I will never argue about fashion with my parents coz talking about it will make me cranky plus disappointed.

It is good to have a vacation after a long time. I mean family vacation. My mum said it is a good trip coz my dad's parents also joining us.So that my dad will not get cranky easily. Hoorayy..I will try my really best to behave and always in good mood. As long as no one turn my nerves on~

Now i'm not sure what i'm going to be...

If people ask me what i want to be one day, I will said 'English Teacher'. Guess what?? I'm not sure bout that now coz i think I'm so suck in grammar which is the most basic thing in English. Gosh~ I lost my goal now.My grammar is very week , even my mum's student is better. Sometimes I think I don't meant to be a teacher, there is something else that I should be...Something that I don't figure out what it is...

I juz have to wait for my SPM result and plan my future afterward..I don't know what is my passion??? Am I gonna turn out like my dad?? He studies in business but turn out to be a lecturer in computer. He still having a good job...even though he still studying for pH D. My dad have different story than mine. He is intelligent and really hardworking.

One of the reason I set my goal in teaching field is my mum is a teacher. She kept telling being a teacher is the best job ever. Especially one day I'm gonna have my own family. I'm thinking bout something different but it doesn't seem clear for me at this moment.Maybe I meant to wait and see what heading me..

Missing Mackay

I'm in my house at Malaysia now but my heart and my still left in Mackay...I just need time to get back to reality..my real life. I still missing mum Rosemary Agnes Shanks and cry frequently because thinking of her. Isn't it miracle one day she just someone who didn't expect me to come and suddenly become closer each day like my mum. The biggest different between us getting fade each day for me..different skin colour, language, religion and background doesnt seem a matter.

I missing every single thing I've done with her. Walk to Woolies, chatting with her at the kitchen bar while she cooking, told silly story while she is driving to make her awake along a journey...All those thing is memory..sweetest memory for me... Maybe for her I'm just another exchange student fron foreign country but for me she is my second mum. I need sometime to stop crying everytime I think about her. I never let my parents know that I am crying because I dont want to offence them.

Another thing that I missed is my host brother or you can call them housemate. Irfan and Sean. They just make my day full of joy or maybe uneasy sometimes. Both of them have totally different personality and they have to share a bedroom along our stay there. Can you imagine that? Irfan is mature, same age with me, quite loner (happy to be on his own),intelligent boy, unique person to be exact but I dont have any problem to get along with him. Only one time I felt offended about what he said to me. I already get over it anyway..no big deal..Sean is happy go lucky, like to hang out in my room, love to make make noise (but its doesnt bother me), he wish he have a big brother or sister because he is a 1st child.They have a contrast character. Thank god they never punch each other but had a fight without physical contact once which really freak me out.

Last but not least, Persia..cute little cat who just undergo operation to make sure it doesn't have babies..kittens to be exact...she likes to slapped on Sean's face to wake him up every morning..she likes to scratch and bite Irfan. She just a playful little fellow..I missed every single thing in that house. Michael my host brother used to fold everyone's clothes including my undies..for me its really embarrassing but for them nothing wrong bout that.He gone for exchange to Panama so he like to give some Spanish lingo lesson...especially because mum will leave to Argentina soon if I not mistaken.Really miss them...xoxo