Reflection cinta sms by Aiman Azlan

Tatkala morning klas by Sir Mein cancel and today is 9 Muharram, me n my friends decided to fast for this 2 days so I try to avoid any accidental sins. Nak ngadap internet tp faham2 la what we have on FB kan. I'm not trying to show off yg me today ' bajet baik' or what, but everyday is a new fresh day where I hope to be better person than yesterday. (ok the explanation is a lil bit astray). The point is I want to read something ilmiah n benificial online. I kind a miss Aiman Azlan blog n vlog so I opened his blog and read his previous entry. FYI his product (videos n written blog) is one of my source of entertainment that not makes me forgot about my duty as HIS slave.

CINTA SMS...baca la best2

The title is CINTA SMS.... I prefer every Muslim and Muslimah to read it.. It is a story about the reality of being a teenager, sometimes we trying very hard to make something haram change to halal. It is a normal thingy if you have a crush on some1 u'll start texting him/her 24/7 which actually cost a lot of money. Surely there will be a list of excuses and reasons to sy it is ok. Maybe some will say "Hang xda marka tyra, boley la hang ceramah agama kat cni" I am reminding myself too brothers and sisters, I have no different than you guys. Through AimanAzlan's story which actually is another alternative of dakwah, he also mention about how Muslims these days tend to put aside all the don'ts just for sake of adat.

Amin~

Honestly for me myself, wedding songs annoys me. I thought kenduri is also time for meeting people who we lost contact. Sometimes people have to shout to have a conversation. Kesian kan..

Even though I am the only daughter in my family, I dont expect my wedding will be extra special. The topic have been raise up when I juz finished my SPM. My family and I make jokes about it, how much we want the wedding in our family be as simple as we could. * I hope I have a strength to agree whatever my dad have arrange for me on that day.

This is the love I'm looking for

BTW~ AimanAzlan  changes me a lot. She makes me aware about the fact, there are still a true Muslim guy to be my other half who I dont met yet. Like my brother said, to make me deserve that kind of man, there are few changes that I have to make. Tabarruj...I have slowly leave it which is not easy but I'll never give up. Colour lenses...the time to say goodbye to u will come...This hijrah thing is something that we can't be instantly change, it takes time. Wish me luck, pray for me.

Nible & Nickel

They are  new members of our family. 2 adorable kelinci (rabbits)..My mum got them for free from her student (untung jd teacher kesayangan ni). Since Raims wishing to have his own pet since forever, so my mum gave it to Raims. He now a 'father' of 2 rabbits. At 1st we cannot detect the gender of Nickel n Nible (if u what i'm sayin') because they still babies. Before that, why Nickel & Nible. Why that name? Both have black and white flawless fur (sesuai ke gne flawless?) These are few details bout them.

They are like babies in the house. My mum will tease them like they will giggle back to her. Even my dad loves them. You know after facing a rough day, return home n play with them, can surely get rid of your stress.

NICKEL (black fur at the back of her ear)

GENDER: FEMALE

COLOUR: BLACK N WHITE

NIBBLE (white fur at the back of his ear)

GENDER: MALE

COLOUR: BLACK N WHITE

Those 2 photos above during when they were babies. I can hold them with only one hand each. Now, it's too heavy..

Now they already can be consider as grown ups rabbits. There were one day where I was not feeling well n sleeps everytime after I taking my meds. My 2 brothers wakes me up just to ask me to witness them ‘doing it’...Selekeh tau...

After I’ve been told about that, I ignore them for few days. WHY??!! Yela..I think it is too soon for them..They were babies n innocent..I can’t deal with the fact that they already...eerrrgghh...korg dah x innocent tau..I don’t care u guyz will having adorable babies soon. In recent day, nickel already started to take nibbles’ fur for the new born babies soon... Haha...sian nibble dah gugur fur die. Mama once said, 'Are we having rabbit as a pet or pig?' coz they eat like a pig...never stop eating..lol

Tgk dah gemok..mkn kangkung n kobis byk sgt

eye eye my eyes

Never take things for granted.(pembuka kata paling x sesuai) I am so disappointed of myself because I dont take a good care of my sight. Allah bagi sepasang je tyra. Ok..my precious pair of eye have a bad history at the beginning actually. Time standard 2 I've already got problem with my sight (short sidedness) That time the power is only 50 both side. I really hate the fact that I have to wear spectacles like my brother. He have a good reason for that (love to read in the dark). My sight problem started...I think...because..I like to wear my brother's spectacles..(booyaa)..serves me right~

Prasan x spec tu cam brownish..coz my rabun is more tu silau

Ok ..so I deserve it. Sape suh gatal2 nak main spek org kan..Konon nak nampak skema skali skala, asyik nampak cam gangster je (time tu la). But then I decided to eat veggies a lot especially carrots. I think it works. No headache or problems not seeing things clearly. I believe it works coz the power is so low,so I think it's curable.  I dont wear my glasses for is r 6 years coz I thought the problem have already gone untill I was in form 3. I have to wear it again. but I juz needed when I cant read what teacher wrote at the whiteboard, and started not wearing it again.

Now in present. I have to wear it whenever I have to look at a screen. Last time I check, my spectacles power increasing. 100 n 75.. No wonder I suffer never ending headache. My habit lately watching movies in the dark which force my eyes to stay focus on screen in darkness. The one that I wear is not a new one, it just to make sure my eyes received juz appropriate amount of lights entered. From now on I'll eat carrots juz like I drink plain water.

Been to Medan is another one whole new experience for me. I always tell myself travelling, holiday or going to the place where unfamiliar place basicly, means learning through everything new around me. (skema ayat ku)

DEPARTING

This time we were in rush too. Our mistake is to have lunch at UIAM calmly without predicting any possibility of road jam on our way to LCCT. Thanked god we made it on time. Abg Apiz (my cousin) waited for us to park our car for us. Everyone already check in my grandparent n other relatives, they just waiting for us. This time I got seat beside my youngest brother n aircraft window so that I can enjoy watching clouds. (^_^)

ARRIVAL

First thing I did was set my watch 1 hour early than it should be since Medan is 1 early than Malaysia time. So that time was around 5 p.m but it looks like it almost dust. There were some technical problem so we got small bus to go to our hotel (Garuda Plaza). When I first step my foot down the bus, salesmen promoting their stuff on my face..but they were more polite than salesmen in Jakarta for sure. Good 1^st impression Medan (not!!!).

This is the Garuda

 At the beginning , I was ask to stay with my cousin at my grandparents room, seems like the room is too small, I was transferred to my parents room (yippiieeee). ps: I got my own bed..duhhh~ My 3 brothers share room which is at the same floor. Their room got a good view than us, from our room the scenery would be a block of building.  The hotel is cozy but I feel quite disappointed with the service. I bring along clothes and shawl that need to be iron. My mum call the room service department and asked them about iron, she had been told that there were only2 iron available in this hotel but only one is working ( what???!!!) I know right. Therefore along my trip my attire is very wrinkly (obviously).

We decided to go to nearby diner for a dinner. We just walk through the road to find place to eat and in our short journey searching for a place to dig in I saw a huge rat (the dead one)..Wow in the middle of city there were a rat corpse. I ask my brother to take a picture of it for our biological research :p  We had Nasi Goreng Ayam  with teh botol ( famous type of drink there, taste like jasmine tea) That nyte my adorable cousin spend the nyte at my room watching Hana Yori Dango.

SECOND DAY

We went to Pasar Ikan but there were no ikan there. There was where all small stores located selling variety of things but not food. I get my bangles there. This time I keep myself busy recording the environment and people around me rather than looking for things to buy (so not true). F.Y.I if u went to anywhere in Indonesia road seller will always chase n follow u. This time it was not as scary as in Bandung, they were a lot more proper in behavior term, still make us feel uneasy even we already but things from them. I admire they effort, they never give up selling stuff.

I get this for myself at Pasar Ikan

I started feeling ill that night, fever +PMS...I must get better before the next day coz we will go to Beras Tagi which I have no idea what is that place.

THIRD DAY

I feel bad coz I got to be in a cosy mpv with my Pak Long's family n my grandparents while my family members are on the bus. I'm sure it is not comfortable for them to squeeze in that small bus. I feel so bad..It was a long journey from the hotel to Beras Tagi.. I just know that there were where Lake Toba is. We stopped at a place which I dont know where n have a corn. Yummy corn~ The place is almost the same like we heading to Cameron Highlands but chiller. 

I notice that along our journey people there sell a lot of 'Babi Bakar'...most of them natives n Christian believer.. When I read a signboard mention 'perkampungan Orang Batak', I juz remember when I was eleven my Muallim told me that Batak people eat human flesh *creepy

Ajin get me this ponco (my 1st ponco)

Raims gave me this (aren't he sweet)

I ask my mum to get me this..(hehe)

When we arrive, after that very very long time sitting in a car, it is worth it. We can see Lake Toba from the hill but we only see quarter of it. We can feel the cool air breeze which is so refreshing (if there were no one smoking around u). It is a peek of the moment for me because my 2 younger brother bought me a gift.. Naseb baik x nangis tau.  We bought I TOBA LAKE. Each of us got one and decided to wear it tomorrow.

FINAL DAY

Since we check out at 1pm, so we decided to go to pasar behind the mall in the morning. The place looks like Ben Tahn in Vietnam. In one building there’s a lot of stuff for tourist. To go there we rent Avanza Kijang coz taxi wont fix for six people. We suppose to check out at 1 PM and the bus arrived at 2 PM. We have to wait at the hotel lobby for an hour. Packing barang. For the 1^st time eva during holiday my luggage got plenty of room, so all of fruits (bought at Beras Tagi), souvenirs and foods are all in my luggage. Luggage tu mmg besar pon.

Journey to the airport is really stuffy because small bus, a lot of things and people but its fine, things getting worse. Our flight delayed and the condition of Medan Airport....errmmm. KLIA is heaven, trust me. I do some recordings with my brother before check in. While waiting, me n my adorable little cousin finishing watch Hana Yori Dango until my lappy ran out of bateri. I got heavy flu so it  was an uncomfortable experience when the air bus were about to land on LCCT. The air pressure was killing me, I feel like my face want to explode. Raims feel the same way coz his nose was runny too. BTW this time I sat beside hot stranger but it just 45 minutes journey. The only conversation we had, not really conversation... more to one way conversation. He took my other belt so I cant fasten my seatbelt, so I said  “ Excuse me sir, I think u took the wrong belt.” He notice it without said nothing n fasten his seat belt. From his expression I can see he was nervous, not sure why. Perhaps he was nervous to be on the flight. We arrived at LCCT around 8 pm. My dad told us that our parking fee is RM200 something because Abg Apiz park our car at the Airport parking space. Not his fault at all, we were in rush back then.

That’s all about my holiday diary, quite long I reckon =)

HE MADE IT!!!

I got goosebumps after I read my mum text message "Babah dah pass viva". That time I am having my lunch with my friends at campus cafe, we just finished our paper that day, got 2 more papers to sit...Thanked god I dont spit out my lunch to a person in front of me..I t is unspeakable emotion feeling happy + proud + almost burst into tears..I wanted to shout to the whole world that my dad at last finished his PhD.. I'm saying this with no intention to brag about it......but I know what he have gone through to achieve what he deserve now. I text Along to ask him whether he know about it, he said he already knew about it.Syukur sgt2.

Then I call my dad, but he didn't pick up, I guess he busy settling stuff. I finished my lunch (although I already full that time by the good news) and walk to my room as a happiest person on earth, I feel like running back to Kuantan there and then and hug my dad, despite of there were 2 more important papers to go (so back to reality).He's a Dr. now. He is the only Dr. in his sibling.. (stop it Athirah ) I just feeling so proud of him. In order for him to get to this point, there was a battlefield for more than 2 years back (or 3 years, i am so suck in number). Battlefield between himself  , wife n kids.. It is not easy to be a father, son, student husband and father at the same time. Too many things he have to sacrifice. I'm glad all the battling is over for him.

Then he call me back,he said he was at the loo ...He is on his way back to home. I ask him to drive carefully. At that moment I think my soul is already home but my body is still there in campus to take another 2 papers.

Put myself back together

I dunno whether it is a coincident or what, I think it is some kind a reward from Allah if I am sabar to go through hardship la kot.. I am so thankful everytime after I went through situation related to get over a boy, there will be an oppurtunity for me to go abroad for vacation tau (Alhamdulillah)...Last time after the situation with ikan belacak when I was 17, I got a chance to join exchange programme.

 This time after struggling with myself to get over siput babi I got to clear up my mind by going to Medan. Thanks to Pak Long once again coz never stop from asking us to join in any trip. *wink2

Even Medan x abroad sgt, still need a passport to go there ryte? Vacation with my family what a blast~ I was thinking to share a video at youtube account after I've been there.. Ye la dah berkurun x post video pape..

 Hope that I'll be having a great time till I 100% over my problems la kan..My mum praise me for how strong I've already been everytime I facing problems relate to boys. Trust me it is not easy to be on my own. For GIRLS OUT THERE who facing difficulties or some kind a conflict relate to boys u need good music n positive person around you. Don't think u are some kind a pathetic because being unlucky in relationship term (memang rase cam tu pon)  If u can avoid, dont be around people who are in love..huhu kind reminder..coz u all will feel like you wanna smashing your head to the wall thinking y u are so unlucky. Trust me..lol.. Sorry juz being exaggerating. HEE~

I.N.S.E.C.U.R.E

Gile kentang lame x post pape...bukan xnak tulis but too much personal problems...nak share kat blog rase cam public sgt...so better keep it to myself....Seriously lately I do a lot of inner monologue with myself...a lot of thing to say but dont write it..hurmmmm

INSECURE... Not confident or assured; uncertain or anxious ye definition-nyer..Safe here have many interpretation...I like to share a few insecurity that relate to relationship which come across my mind...It is a never ending feelings for women~ (btol ke word 'insecurity' tu exist? ske aty aku je) ^_^ mmg ade baru google search :p

1. INSECURITY towards yourself..(bukan security tau)
 - it means feeling uncomfortable with yourself in term of your appearance, ability etc.. boleh jd over selfconscious....long term ley jd paranoid... hesitate in doing everything coz afraid people might hate us,criticize etc.Kite hidup kat dunia ni mmg utk org laen kan..think twice..tp jgn ignorance sampai we did the wrong thing n kwn tegor xnak terima..that's another problem (point to myself)..talk from experience...at the 1st place klu org tegur kite,kite msti rase cam marah but when we really think about it,thank u to that person now I know what i'm doing wrong...time to change the way we think (point to myself again)


2. INSECURITY towards your love ones (friends/lover/family)
- for lover u always think ur spouse might be cheating on u..indeed kene berwaspada tp if every single day what ur spouse get from you is tuduhan...fed up kowt..  for friend...u always think ur close friend might be leaving u or become close to someone else other than u ( sounds like me in the past)...in friendship u give a lot u will gain a lot..unless ur friend is such an unthoughtful person..actually that principle is applied to all relationship..in family...u feel like ur other siblings gain more attention that u from ur parents...

Mcm ade dua je la kan..my bad~
As a grown up teenagers n adult soon...I can say that Insecure is a never ending feelings.. coz when we are single we feel insecure about outer layer of ourself ,if we are more conscious we also think about 'what should I do to make myself have a better personality or different that other girls' so that I would be more appealing to people..for instance...Its normal to have that thought but dont over do it..

THat insecure continue when we met our spouse..still feeling insecure..thinking that our bf might find other girl is better than us..thare's no certainty for him to always tied up with us and see 'I am the only 1 for u!!' (hate that feeling)..but that's the reality..

Gettting married? Lelaki boleh kawin 4..still insecure...how to keep a long lasting relationship? It is too early for me to analyze it.It is not like I am too stress out about this..It juz something that I discuss/chat with my mum...and suddenly think about..mmg xde keje in the middle og study week fikir psal something not important..I'm juz sharing my thought here..taa~