Put myself back together

I dunno whether it is a coincident or what, I think it is some kind a reward from Allah if I am sabar to go through hardship la kot.. I am so thankful everytime after I went through situation related to get over a boy, there will be an oppurtunity for me to go abroad for vacation tau (Alhamdulillah)...Last time after the situation with ikan belacak when I was 17, I got a chance to join exchange programme.

 This time after struggling with myself to get over siput babi I got to clear up my mind by going to Medan. Thanks to Pak Long once again coz never stop from asking us to join in any trip. *wink2

Even Medan x abroad sgt, still need a passport to go there ryte? Vacation with my family what a blast~ I was thinking to share a video at youtube account after I've been there.. Ye la dah berkurun x post video pape..

 Hope that I'll be having a great time till I 100% over my problems la kan..My mum praise me for how strong I've already been everytime I facing problems relate to boys. Trust me it is not easy to be on my own. For GIRLS OUT THERE who facing difficulties or some kind a conflict relate to boys u need good music n positive person around you. Don't think u are some kind a pathetic because being unlucky in relationship term (memang rase cam tu pon)  If u can avoid, dont be around people who are in love..huhu kind reminder..coz u all will feel like you wanna smashing your head to the wall thinking y u are so unlucky. Trust me..lol.. Sorry juz being exaggerating. HEE~

I.N.S.E.C.U.R.E

Gile kentang lame x post pape...bukan xnak tulis but too much personal problems...nak share kat blog rase cam public sgt...so better keep it to myself....Seriously lately I do a lot of inner monologue with myself...a lot of thing to say but dont write it..hurmmmm

INSECURE... Not confident or assured; uncertain or anxious ye definition-nyer..Safe here have many interpretation...I like to share a few insecurity that relate to relationship which come across my mind...It is a never ending feelings for women~ (btol ke word 'insecurity' tu exist? ske aty aku je) ^_^ mmg ade baru google search :p

1. INSECURITY towards yourself..(bukan security tau)
 - it means feeling uncomfortable with yourself in term of your appearance, ability etc.. boleh jd over selfconscious....long term ley jd paranoid... hesitate in doing everything coz afraid people might hate us,criticize etc.Kite hidup kat dunia ni mmg utk org laen kan..think twice..tp jgn ignorance sampai we did the wrong thing n kwn tegor xnak terima..that's another problem (point to myself)..talk from experience...at the 1st place klu org tegur kite,kite msti rase cam marah but when we really think about it,thank u to that person now I know what i'm doing wrong...time to change the way we think (point to myself again)


2. INSECURITY towards your love ones (friends/lover/family)
- for lover u always think ur spouse might be cheating on u..indeed kene berwaspada tp if every single day what ur spouse get from you is tuduhan...fed up kowt..  for friend...u always think ur close friend might be leaving u or become close to someone else other than u ( sounds like me in the past)...in friendship u give a lot u will gain a lot..unless ur friend is such an unthoughtful person..actually that principle is applied to all relationship..in family...u feel like ur other siblings gain more attention that u from ur parents...

Mcm ade dua je la kan..my bad~
As a grown up teenagers n adult soon...I can say that Insecure is a never ending feelings.. coz when we are single we feel insecure about outer layer of ourself ,if we are more conscious we also think about 'what should I do to make myself have a better personality or different that other girls' so that I would be more appealing to people..for instance...Its normal to have that thought but dont over do it..

THat insecure continue when we met our spouse..still feeling insecure..thinking that our bf might find other girl is better than us..thare's no certainty for him to always tied up with us and see 'I am the only 1 for u!!' (hate that feeling)..but that's the reality..

Gettting married? Lelaki boleh kawin 4..still insecure...how to keep a long lasting relationship? It is too early for me to analyze it.It is not like I am too stress out about this..It juz something that I discuss/chat with my mum...and suddenly think about..mmg xde keje in the middle og study week fikir psal something not important..I'm juz sharing my thought here..taa~