Feeling down -..-

Dunno why lately I felt emotionally unstable.. I should not feel that way coz I got the best people in the world around me..Although somehow I feel they kind a make a distance from me...I hope i do nothing wrong.. Yeah a few people that used to be closed to me started to make a huge size of great wall of China in our relationship. I dont mind as long as u happy.
My performance is going down too..Recently we got quiz for English Proficiency .. I can imagine how Ms Alia will react, 'T-rex I am so gonna kill u!!'.For my classmates I am not as bright as u guys thought.U guys can categorize me as one of the 'lumpy' person u've ever known.
I dont't mind if u gonna kill me but I have to do better for my own future not for you. It just grammar Athirah..
Cant wait to be home and be pampered by Babah n Mama after a long time living in an independent daily life here.
I have to get use to life where no one give attention to u..I have to start being a grown ups..yup for sure..
I am so confused whether should I join Kesenian club or not..I want to but I cant.. that's the simplest reason..Dont feel like writing actually.